Part of the solution to any addiction is the realisation that trying to fix this malady on our own power is a massive mistake. Believe me I know, I tried!! As soon as we are able to grasp the concept of a power that is greater than ourselves then things start to get better.
Now, I am not saying anyone needs to be religious or spiritual to recover. I am saying it's a good idea to develop a concept of a higher power that suits you.
You might remember me writing about an old AA member called Jimmy who was an inspiration to me. I am sure he won't mind me telling you part of his story to help you see what I mean about developing a concept that suits you.
Jimmy was - in his own words - an in the gutter, brown paper bag drunk. He had lost everything and was a very short time away from killing himself with alcohol. A couple of AA members took him along to a meeting and the only reason he even entertained going was that these guys had managed to stop drinking. They had been just like him yet they were now sober. Jimmy wanted to find out how to do that. He tells the story of being at the meeting and hearing people talking about Higher Power's, Concept of God, etc and thinking that he was doomed as he didn't believe in any of that "BS."
However, he kept focusing on the fact that these guys were still sober while he wasn't and came to the realisation that he should at least try to develop a concept of a higher power. So, Jimmy looked around the room and his eyes fell on a three barred electric fire. He looked at that fire and thought, well, that fire can heat this room full of people. I can't. Okay, that's something that has more power than me! This was the very beginning of Jimmy's development of a higher power concept that his mind could grasp.
Over the ensuing many years of sobriety and a deep connection with his higher power, Jimmy enjoyed telling that story about how if he could create a concept of a power greater than himself, then anyone could.
For me the higher power concept was not always easy because of my religious upbringing. I tended to see that version of God as a big scary man that had a huge finger that pointed at you whenever you did the slightest thing wrong.
The most freeing thing for me was being able to create my own concept of God who I choose to call lots of different names... Higher Self/Higher Power/Love/Universe/Spirit. The reason I don't have a specific name is because it is almost indescribable. I just know it's there and feels right when I connect through meditation and mindful breathing.
I liken it to the wind. How do I know wind exists when I actually cannot see it or physically touch it? I can feel it on my skin, in my hair, when it is a hot wind or a cool wind. I can see it's effect on trees swaying when it's around and the way it impacts on the environment when it rages. For me, it's the same with my concept of God/Love/Spirit/Universe. I know it exists because I can feel it, I recognise the positive effects it has on me, my recovery and my life experience and I live with a measure of serenity that grows the more I maintain that connection - all without having to touch it, see it in the physical realm or have proof of its existence. I guess you call that Faith.
Once you work out your concept of higher self/higher power and you develop a way of connecting to it each day, then recovery becomes easier. It is not such a struggle. One day at a time you find yourself living the life you always dreamed of and grasped at when your self will was running riot trying to control everything.
Surrender to that higher self/power today and watch the miracle happen!!!
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