The Yet's

Today I was at my local aquatic fitness centre doing my daily 30 minute jog in a 25 metre pool.  I have had to come up with a Plan B for exercise due to my groin injury, sore hip and lower back, so have been very grateful for pool exercises and really enjoying the way that being in the water makes me feel. There are a lot of people who use the pool for this purpose, I often see physiotherapists in there with patients, older people in there doing their exercises and younger people in there enjoying water fitness.  

Today I saw a lady in the pool who has an extremely severe case of morbid obesity. The extent of damage to her body was frightening.  I felt a deep sense of sadness at the damage this disease had so obviously wrought on her.  

I caught this lady's eye and gave her a big smile as she kept moving through the water, obviously on a mission to keep her body moving in a safe environment. I wanted to tell her 'you are beautiful, you are strong and I am immensely proud of you because I KNOW how hard it is to step into a pool not feeling good about yourself and I KNOW the courage it takes to not care what anyone else thinks."  

This amazingly strong, resilient woman comes with her granddaughter who helps her in and out of the pool.  Her body is so heavy she cannot move safely out of the water.  At the end of her exercise today she passed me while I was doing some stretches and turned round saying to me "you are doing so well!"  I thanked her and said to her.. "keep on going, don't stop doing this."

Seeing the extent of the disease in her was a stark reminder of what could happen to me if I do not practice recovery and mindful eating every day, one day at a time. It was a huge YET;  it has not happened YET thank God, but I have absolutely no doubt it could be me if I fall into relapse again, which would be a reality as this disease is progressive. It ALWAYS gets worse each time you relapse. 

I felt an unconditional love for that lady today.  I felt my heart ache for her and for me.  This disease is so cunning, baffling and powerful it can blind your eyes, numb your senses and trick you into thinking your overeating is completely normal; or that you are not as big as you are. 

Please, I beg you, never believe the diseased rationale of the compulsive mind, it is always a liar and a soul destroyer. Don't let any yet's become a reality in your life.  You deserve to live free from the physical affliction, mental obsession and soul sickness that happens in active food addiction.