I Can't Do This For The Rest of My Life

"I can't do this for the rest of my life... I mean who on earth has to monitor their emotions, maintain a spiritual connection and be vigilant about the types of food that pass their mouth for the rest of their days?? ""Never have chocolate again ever ??? Never ever be able to indulge in the dessert menu without consequences??" 

These types of questions I have asked myself a million times. 

The feeling of despair... yes.. DESPAIR.. at not being able to eat what I want, when I want, in the amounts I want, used to send me straight into a state of rebellion; listening to all those addictive anecdotes such as.. "just have one," "eating that won't do you any harm at all," "you've done so well in your abstinence, you deserve a little something." 

Next in line to ram me into relapse would be my worst enemy - DENIAL.  I would think things like, "I can control my eating," "I can stop at one piece of chocolate," "I am not an abnormal eater," "I have a huge amount of self control in all areas of my life, therefore I can have it around food," "I am not an addict." 

Pride always comes before a fall. 

All of that insanity just because I was thinking of having to live in recovery for the rest of my life! 

The fact of the matter is all of us only have today - we are not promised tomorrow, therefore, I don't have to consider living in recovery any longer than today.  In fact even shorter if today is too long - it could be any longer than my last meal, an hour or a minute, whatever the need may be. I can do ANYTHING for a minute that would appall me for a lifetime. 

The secret to staying abstinent and in a state of recovery is to live in the present moment.  To be mindful of all those 'sweet poisons' that are whispered in your ear from your addictive voice. They are deadly lies.  To talk to another food addict in recovery - nobody understands this disease and its emotional intricacies more than a fellow sufferer. To love yourself enough to want recovery more than you want that bar of chocolate, quick sugar fix, or KFC.. whatever your poison is. 

One day at a time for the rest of your life you can kick this food addiction's proverbial and live with self love, self respect, self confidence, self acceptance and peace of mind; knowing that in your surrender and honesty you are gifted with control and a daily reprieve from the horrors of food addiction. 

I can do this for the rest of my life one moment at a time. Today, choose to do it with me.