Stop Fighting With Yourself

I think I might have mentioned in another blog that I am a lover of books that relate to all things self-help and spiritual. I believe for me developing my spirituality is the path to living my best life in a serene and peaceful manner.  

I absolutely believe that my food and my eating are intrinsically linked to my emotional and spiritual well being. When I am 'plugged in,' surrendering each moment, then life is easy, the compulsion leaves, I feel a sense of calm peace within myself and - here's the weird part -  I eat healthy, normal portions without even having to think about it.  

On the other hand, when I am 'unplugged' and living on Karen's steam alone, the addictive side of my personality arcs up; I have compulsive thoughts, compulsive urges to overeat and am constantly fighting with myself over what I can or cannot eat, should or should not think and stress about how much exercise I need to do.  The mental obsession is all consuming.
  

Recently I read Pam Grout's book E-Squared.  If you haven't read it, get it.  Read it. Watch your life change.  I devoured that book in an afternoon; one particular section dealing with the fight that many of us have with food and dieting.  

The quotes below from the book spoke to me, shining some much needed light as to why - even when I was supposedly eating in a controlled way and working out with a Personal Trainer - I was not losing weight, not feeling free from the obsession with food or diets and exercise?

"Your body is simply a living expression of your point of view about the world." Carl Frederick, Author of EST Playing The Game: The New Way

"What you think and say about yourself, your body and your food is the hinge upon which your health turns.  Counting calories and fat grams with religious zealotry may well be the main obstacle between you and your ideal weight" Pam Grout, Author of E-Squared

"The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there." Augusten Burroughs, American Author

"This may come as a shock to you - especially if you spend most of your waking moments silently harping on about your ugly, cellulite-ridden body - but the normal state of your body is healthy.  It can heal and regulates itself without prompting from you.  But when you keep tabs and count calories with frenetic abandon, you refuse to let your body change."  Pam Grout, Author of E-Squared

These light bulb moments highlighted the fact that the mental obsession that goes along with compulsive overeating is what either kept me stuck in my addiction or caused my relapse. 

Being in constant conflict with myself over what food I ate, having highs and lows over whether a meal was deemed to be good/healthy or bad/unhealthy, meant it did not matter one jot what I put in my mouth.  My body only responded to the negativity of my mental obsession.  

The solution to this?  STOP FIGHTING WITH YOURSELF!! Let ALL that garbage information go that we are bombarded with via media and the diet industry!  GIVE UP; it is in surrendering the obsession that you find the control you so DESPERATELY seek.  

I decided to change one piece of negative thinking about myself every day and practice thinking in a new and positive way.  I wish I could bottle up how good that feels and send it to every person that battles with the mental obsession and physical addiction to Food.  My life changed as I surrendered each moment; my mind becoming free from the relentless obsessive thinking about my weight, my body, my food, my drink, my exercise and I stopped fighting with myself.  

The beautiful result of these small changes is peace reigns in my head and heart today while I continue to learn, as well as benefit from surrendering and living in the present moment.