Long Time No Post

Hey everyone -  long time no post!

It's been approximately 6 months since I've felt like sitting down at my computer to write and prior to my last post there was a fair gap in my writing too.  Hindsight makes me realise I should have paid attention to that little warning sign!

Anyhow, everything happens for a reason and I am back now to share my journey of the past year or so.  My reasons for not writing have been varied: time out to get real with myself, a year's worth of arranging my daughter's new home, roster of support workers, moving her into her own place and implementing her supported independent living, utter exhaustion, anxiety,  relapse and a whole lot of healing - which is still in progress. 

The good thing is in the past few weeks I've been aware of a positive shift - almost imperceptible - but a shift nonetheless. My energy levels are slowly rising - I no longer wake after 8 hours of sleep feeling exhausted and it feels so good!

Honesty on here is absolutely my best policy  so the best place to begin the story is to let you guys know the not so good stuff that's been going on:  I've had a rollicking relapse with my food, gained weight, body hurting, experienced the sadness of empty nest syndrome, questioning my life's purpose and massive awareness of how I mindlessly use food to cope with the tough parts of life - munching my way through the emotional messiness. 

One of my personality traits is a double edged sword; stubbornness.  It is both a saving grace and a major pitfall. Trying to control the minutia of my life inevitably led me to falling flat on my face in relapse.  Not surrendering absolutely to the process of recovery is dangerous and a recipe for disaster.  So here I am in this situation again and thankfully alive to tell the tale.  

I plan on starting to write again about the insights I have gained, the alternative ways of coping with stress and negative emotions and to show how this hardest of times has actually had so many positives outcomes: a time of personal growth, deepening spirituality and a genuine love for myself exactly as I am - spare tyres, extra poundage and all!

Thanks for reading - I will be posting again really soon.