Daily Meditation:
Maintaining conscious contact with my higher power allows me to connect with the 'real' me. In spending as little as 10 mins of mindful breathing and mediation, I quiet my mind in order to hear the truth of how I am running today.
Not creating the space for that connection is dangerous for me as a food addict. I have an egoic mind that is never quiet, is always on high alert, is always trying to protect/soothe me with food, is always ready to manipulate, in some way shape or form, a way in which I can 'eat what I want'.
Being centred and in a space of listening makes me teachable and warns of any potholes that could happen in my day to upset my recovery applecart. Also, being quiet allows me to to be fully aware of how wonderful recovery is and how far I have come physically, emotionally and spiritually today.
I love being in that quiet space. I love the feeling of 'everything is okay' that comes just by spending a bit of time with myself. Try it, you will find that you really enjoy your own company and that you actually really do love yourself enough to want what is right for your highest good.
Finally, solitude and mindfulness allows me to be truly grateful for all the goodness in my life.
Full Surrender:
There is this little prayer in AA called the third step prayer which I adapted for myself and it is my prayer of surrender each day.
I turn my life and my will, my thoughts and my actions, my food and my eating and my food choices over to your care and direction. Relieve me of the compulsion to overeat, take from me the desire for trigger foods, guide me in my portion sizes and help me to know when I am full. Be with me today.
I know how easy it is to fall back into trying to control everything around my eating and exercise, therefore I make a conscious choice to see food solely as the nutrition my body needs to live and function. Surrendering the obsessive way of thinking about food and removing the power charge it had over me through letting go absolutely, is truly freedom.
Sensible Food Plan:
Food plans in food addiction recovery can cause a lot of angst. Many people think certain food types need to be completely cut out. However, I have tried EVERY food plan on the planet: cut foods out, added them in, had them in small amounts, had them in large amounts - you name it I've done it. The only thing that works for me is to surrender what I eat at each meal and ensure that my food is sensible, nutritionally balanced and enjoyable.
As a very wise friend of mine once said any diet or food plan will work if you work it. The same goes for recovery, it only works if you work it. You will know if your food plan is truly an abstinent one, because - as I have experienced - if it is not, sooner or later relapse will happen.
Sane Exercising:
I used to go to the gym 6 days a week: 30 minutes interval training on the cross trainer, 45 minutes of personal training sessions, hour long spin classes, weight lifting, viper work outs, push ups, pull ups, lunges, squats, and then cool downs and stretches. I absolutely LOVED the gym. But as is seen in all people with eating disorders, I became totally exercise obsessed. I used my exercise as a way to eat and drink what I wanted. Instead of treating my body with the respect it needed at my age, I punished it. I worked out like that when I was at my heaviest and as a result injured my back, aggravated my hip and my heart! Now I need to put my gym work on hold until I heal. I have to work on Plan B. My higher power certainly knew how to make me listen this time!
Today I go to the pool 4-5 times a week and jog for 30 minutes in a 25 metre walking lane. Then, for 15 minutes I do stretches, lunges and squats in the water. When I am jogging I am constantly saying thank you for the healing properties of the water that I am receiving. If I have a day where I feel tired - I don't go! If I have a night out and am out for dinner which is not part of the plan (life happens) - I do not obsess about exercising just in case the calories of my night out meal were in excess of my food plan meal. Sanity is doing everything in a balanced and mindful way and that is a must for me with my exercise.
Method:
A good measure of each of these four ingredients will ensure a stable and lasting recovery for anyone that chooses to practice it. The most wonderful thing is you don't need to do it alone - connecting with another recovered addict is how this journey to wellness works.
I'd love to hear from anyone at any stage of their recovery route who can share their experience, strength and hope for the greater good of those who still suffer from active food addiction.
Choose recovery today!
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