Life Gets Busy but Recovery Comes First

Life gets busy.  We all have people to see, places to go and things to do.  However, regardless of how hectic my life gets, I must remain aware and vigilant regarding my recovery.

I have had a pretty full on time of it since Easter, a fair few social engagements, my oldest son's 30th birthday and of course Mother's Day.  All of these events entailed, eating, drinking and being merry - and I enjoyed every single moment.
  

Throughout the celebrations I became aware that I was falling into some bad habits.  Behaviours that could lead me into a full blown relapse is I was not careful:  

• I over indulged at  some of these get togethers and cut back drastically the next day 
• I added in extra exercise to balance out the excess
• I started to slip into cutting back on some of my healthy calories just so I could have that food/drink I was now beginning to obsess about
• I was not meditating as often because I was too busy, getting up later and racing on into my day without taking the time to centre myself and focus on the present moment

Thankfully I am hyper aware of what my disease is capable of.  I am a Food Addict.  That addictive part of my personality is only ever reprieved on a daily basis contingent upon my spiritual and mental health - as well as rigorous honesty - so I got my proverbial into gear and started giving myself the daily love and attention I need and deserve.

The smallest things can throw an addict off their recovery track. It is why we need to practice honesty in all our affairs.  It is why we need to let go of any fear of what another person thinks of us.  It is why we need to admit we are powerless over the addiction we suffer from and surrender to the will of our higher power, whatever that may be. 

I am entirely grateful for little wake up call moments like these. They keep me humble and teachable. When people say to me, 'oh Karen you are doing so well!' it is very easy for me to get a puffed up sense of myself and think.. yep I am doing great - but then I remember the number of relapses I have survived, the physical hell I put my body through, the emotional torture of being in the active disease of compulsive overeating and the overwhelming feeling of just not knowing why I can't kick this food thing like regular people.  

The reason for being stuck for years in the yo-yo relapse state was because I really did not want to think of myself as an addict.  I didn't want to be that weak willed person.  I didn't want people to judge me as damaged goods.  I was my own harshest critic.  I hated that I was so pathetic!!  All that pride and all that ego talk nearly killed me. 

Today I am grateful to be who I am.  I am happy with myself.  I love me. I am a strong, courageous woman who is free of the fear of what anyone thinks of me.  I am blessed to be a food addict in recovery because I have a depth of self awareness, a strong desire to continue to learn and grow - and I have a deep empathy for those in the world who are still suffering this horrific disease. Someone who is slowly dying in a physical jail with 600 pounds of body fat is my potential future if I do not practice the principals of recovery from addiction. There but for the grace of God go I. 

No matter how busy life gets I commit to practicing the following:

• I continue to take personal inventory and when I am wrong, promptly admit it. 

• I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding.  Praying only for knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out.                                                                                                       
• Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of practicing my recovery journey, I share my story with those still suffering from this disease of food addiction in the hope that it will help them and I continue to practice recovery in my whole life on a daily basis. 

Remember:  Life gets busy but recovery comes first!