Today I am guessing many of you will be like me - looking back over 2014, assessing whether it was successful or unsuccessful, good or bad, happy or sad.
I feel that my year was all of those things at one point or other and therefore overall it was a GOOD year! I have wakened up to the realisation that experiencing the gamut of emotions and experiences that life brings is a blessing.
When I struggle with my food addiction, it brings me to a place of recommitment, surrender and total acceptance that my disease of compulsion is not one that will ever go away, it is one that I will live with in recovery one day at a time for the rest of my life.
When I go through emotional lows e.g. feeling disconnected, left out, unwanted, sad, lonely, separated, unloved. I am eventually brought to a place of looking at myself squarely and asking if ANY of those stories my ego is telling me are the actual truth. The answer of course is no.
When I feel that I can no longer carry on giving as a Carer, not because I don't want to, but because I am exhausted and physically/mentally/emotionally it is deeply draining, I shake myself off, dust myself down, get up and do the next right thing - always amazed, when I look back, at where I get the strength from.
When I feel as though I am being taken for granted, or my situation is misunderstood I have learned to voice my needs and speak my truth. That way I won't fall into resentment which is the number one killer for any addict to get entrenched in.
When I go through the hard times, it makes me realise how great the good times are.
To put things in perspective is always helpful and this morning I compiled a list of my 2014 achievements and now give myself a great big HUG, a HIGH FIVE and a "YOU GO GIRL!"
I feel very proud of all that I have achieved within my circumstances - especially because I care fully for Caragh on all levels of her life. Managing to do what I have done while being a Carer is PHENOMENAL people .. truly PHENOMENAL. Here goes with my list:
Created my beloved blog
Achieved weight loss
Pool exercise 3 x per week
Yoga practice 3 x per week
Learned to voice my needs without fear
Learned to put myself first
Learned to listen to my body
Learned to like my body
Learned to accept myself
Learned to respect my own needs
Learned to set boundaries
Learned to say No and be absolutely fine with it
Daily Meditation and breath work
Spiritual growth
Spiritual/Emotional healing
Self awareness
Self growth
Planned and arranged for Caragh's more independent future
Interviewed and employed Carers for Caragh's Future
Commenced Shared Management of Caragh's funding
Sold one property
Buying another property
Researched community networks for Caragh to be involved in
Developed close friendships
Let go of toxic relationships
Surrounded myself with people who care
Laughed a LOT
Cried a LOT
Socially had a BLAST as my friend and I made a vow to get out there socially and enjoy all life has to offer on that level.
Holidayed in Bali and Margaret River
Developed a website for Valued Lives
Edited all copy for the website
Wrote copy for the website
Coordinated and planned a very successful inaugural Fundraising event for Valued Lives
Became a Valued Lives Board Member
Work for Valued Lives
Enrolled in study with the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors
A great Mum to my sons and daughter
A great friend to those nearest and dearest to me
A great help to those who need an ear to listen and counselling
Carried the message of recovery from compulsive addiction to those still suffering by way of this blog and sharing my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) with those I meet and/or connect with.
In all of the above achievements I feel a deep sense of love and gratitude. I love all of it.. the good and the bad, which shows me just how much I have changed on many levels for the better in 2014. I know that 2015 is going to be even better with more growth, love, health, weight loss for health reasons and spiritual awareness.
2015 Bring It!!!!!!
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